USPTO records show that Hyro-gliff, a California-based company, filed trademark applications between March 19 and 22, seeking protection for a number of phrases from Charlie Sheen’s unique (and now ubiquitous) lexicon.  The proposed marks include: “Duh, Winning,” “Vatican Assassin,” “Tiger Blood,” “Rock Star From Mars,” and “Violent Torpedo of Truth.”

But, as most of us know, a trademark doesn’t give someone blanket rights or “ownership” of a particular word or phrase. Trademark rights only exist where a word or phrase indicates the source of goods and/or services.

So what are the proposed goods and services here?  Here’s a sampling from the application for “DUH, WINNING”:

[…] PRERECORDED DISCS, TAPES AND DOWNLOADABLE AUDIOVISUAL MEDIA FEATURING SPOKEN WORD, SPORTS, MUSICAL, COMEDY, DRAMATIC AND THEATRICAL PERFORMANCES, COMEDY […] ENTERTAINMENT SERVICES; […] BAGS AND BAGGAGE, LUGGAGE, BACKPACKS, PURSES, WALLETS, SHOULDER BAGS, KNAPSACKS, HANDBAGS, COMPUTER CASES, CARRYING CASES AND ACCESSORIES FOR PORTABLE ELECTRONIC DEVICES INCLUDING FOR MOBILE TELEPHONES;  […] HOLIDAY AND CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENTS; […] ; SHOES AND BOOTS; PET APPAREL; GLASSWARE, DISHES, PLATES, CUPS, MUGS, SHOT GLASSES; FRAGRANCES, SOAPS, ESSENTIAL OILS, COSMETICS, BODY AND HAIR LOTIONS AND OILS, BATH GEL, NON-MEDICATED HAIR, SKIN AND NAIL PREPARATIONS, SHAMPOOS; MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS AND CASES THEREFOR; […] RAW AND PREPARED FOODS; PET FOODS; PREPARED FOODS; CANDY; ALCOHOLIC AND NON-ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES, VITAMIN DRINKS, FRUIT DRINKS, ENERGY DRINKS; DRINKING WATER; HOSPITALITY SERVICES; HOTEL SERVICES, TRAVEL AGENCY, TRAVEL PLANNING AND TRAVEL- AND ENTERTAINMENT-RECOMMENDATION SERVICES; BAR AND RESTAURANT SERVICES

I’ve pared down the description of goods/services significantly.  And, based on the above laundry list, you may be asking the question: where are DUH, WINNING™ branded travel agencies and prepared foods?  Have they not made it to my city yet?

Hyro-gliff filed this application under Section 1(b), meaning that they are not currently using the mark in commerce but they have a bona fide intent to do so in the future.

So we’ll have to wait and see whether someone releases a bath oil called VATICAN ASSASSIN™ or drinking water under the TIGER’S BLOOD™ name.  In the meantime, I think Sheen’s clearest trademark rights exist in Class 041 for: “Entertainment Services, namely [specify nature of services].”

But that still begs the question: what, exactly, is Sheen doing?

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